What I feel about dating is, that looks really aren’t everything. I’m not saying they dont matter, just that you would rather date someone interesting and who understands you, than a really good looking asshole. I’ve had girlfriends in my life but never even had a match online. I wonder why.
You are right on all accounts. It’s because of a few things all working together in the perfect storm to cause an epic fail.
When I builtit was only after I was immersed in dating sites for a year or so, I pretty much tried them all. I then went and compared all the sites to real life, to see how they all performed.
Real Life won every single time, in every comparison, except for one thing: a web site’s theoretical ability to organize the proper group of people all together in one place.
All dating sites are backwards. They shove two people together, anonymously in a way that causes them to be pretty rude to each other. You’re not going to walk up to a woman without your shirt on, or worse, or show her a picture of your snowmobile or a dead animal instead of your smile – but that’s exactly how the dating sites work. And you’re not going to just walk up to someone you haven’t even said hi to and go into a big long tirade about how interesting she is and talk about the things you have in common, or how cute she looked on New Years in that picture and oh you’re an atheist too and love 10,000 Emerald Pools by B0RNS, but that’s exactly how the dating sites work.
Well, except mine.
In real life you say hi, check body language, make some nice clever charming small talk and then go from there.
But a head shot, in a gallery of 1,000s of head shorts, on a platform that gives women a false sense of choice is not going to get you anywhere. And all your charm, and personality, and depth and wit are lost.
So, three choices –
- Play the game. Make your pics stand out, highlight something good about yourself. Attraction is about status, and this game minimizes your ability to leverage the statuses besides looks (power, wealth, attractiveness to others, kindness, intelligence, height, etc – I wrote about all this in detail in another post)
- Screw all the sites and only use real life. Your connections are limited then, as thats the only thing Real Life isn’t as good at as dating sites are. But at least you can show off all the other wonderful stuff about you.
- Try ( ).
There’s nothing stopping you from choosing all three above. Just don’t be daunted by the current state of dating sites and understand that it’s not you.